


To Forgive

by Monn



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Abused Jared, Abusive Relationships, Anal Fingering, Bottom Jared, Creampie, Dirty Talk, Dubious Consent, Evil Jensen Ackles, Explicit Sexual Content, Humiliation, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Jealous Jensen, M/M, PittCon2016, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Jensen, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Supernatural Convention, Top Jensen, Twerking, abusive Jensen, actually more like non-au-ish, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 21:54:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7658065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monn/pseuds/Monn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a long day working at the Convention in Pittsburgh, Jared just wants to take a quick shower and sleep. His plans get interrupted by his co-start, who is really not thrilled with Jared's behavior at the convention and has every intention to put him in his place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Forgive

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: As much as I wish, I don't own Jared and Jensen.
> 
> Please be aware of the warnings/tags, this fic is a work of fiction and depicts an abusive relationship. I don't believe for a second that this is anywhere near the nature of their real relationship.
> 
> Unbeta'd and English is not my native language.
> 
> Inspired by the video featuring Jared twerking.
> 
> Initially I wanted to write something fluffy and sexy, but apparently, I can't. Sorry.
> 
> Title borrowed from Smashing Pumpkins' song, because obviously Smashing Pumpkins' songs always apply to anything I'll ever write (errr and I suck at coming up with a title).

Walking down the hall after a long day with his fans, right hand touching the ridges of the wall as he passes by, Jared feels exhausted. Seattle, Vegas, Houston, Toronto, so many conventions in countless cities, hotel rooms that start to blend in, he feels drained of energy. All he wished for the past three hours was a cold shower to wash off the sweat that insists on covering his body. It’s not that he hasn’t enjoyed his time with his fans, he has, really. In fact, being able to exchange ideas with them and feel the love and admiration they have for their work are possibly what drove him to even consider a new season. But it has been a long day and they’ll start filming season 12 in a few days, Jared ponders. He opens the door of his hotel room and startles, as he sees Jensen sitting on his bed nursing a drink.

“Oh, h-hi Jensen!”

“Hi Jared, hope you don’t mind I let myself in,” Jensen says, glancing at the private entrance between their rooms, his voice hoarse. Jared doesn’t know if it’s because of the whiskey he’s drinking or for some other obscure reason, but he hopes it’s the first option.

“No problem, you know you’re always welcome,” Jared tells him, as he quietly closes the door. He doesn’t enter the room though, instead he leans back on the door behind him and waits.

“Yes, I know,” Jensen’s ton is sharp and leaves no doubt about the subtle anger it entails. Jared knows this ton all too well.

“So, Jen, I—uhh I’m feeling kinda tired and I desperately need a sh-”

“How was the rest of your day, Jared?” Jensen interrupts him, cold eyes staring at him.

“It was great, Jen, the energy and enthusiasm of the fans were really inspiring,” and for a moment, his smile comes naturally.

“Oh yeah? Anything good in particular?”

“No, nothing out of the ordinary, just had fun with our fans,” Jared answers him, but not without a churning feeling in the pit of his stomach, he knows now at what Jensen is hinting. He feels his heart thudding faster and faster in his chest and suddenly, he starts sweating again. “D-did you have fun? How was your day?” Jared asks, desperately trying to steer this conversation away from his convention’s activities.

“Oh so much fun,” he answers him sarcastically and Jared swears he can see Jensen’s face darkening. “I particularly enjoyed a certain video that was shown to me…” Jensen finishes his drink and immediately stands up to refresh it.

“W-- what v-video?” Jared swallows hard.

“You haven’t seen it? It’s all over the internet. It’s a hilarious video from your photo-op with Misha, you know, the one where you behave like a _whore_ ,” Jensen drinks his newly refreshed drink in one gulp.

“Jensen…” Jared’s voice is small, he looks at the floor, following the random design on the carpet, and he just can’t bring himself to look at his boyfriend right now.

“Ring any bells? The one where you shake your ass like a 16 year old horny teenager!” Jensen fumes.

“It-- it was just harmless fun, Jensen, it was for the fans,” Jared tries to appease him.

“Jared…” Jensen takes a deep breath, knuckles white from squeezing his glass, and Jared hopes for a second that he won’t be the one cleaning broken glass off the carpet and licking the blood from Jensen’s hands. It wouldn’t be the first time though, but usually it’s his blood he has to clean off of his boyfriend. “You know I don’t share,” Jensen’s voice pierces through him.

“Share? What are you talking about? Jensen, I was just goofing around, for like, 30 seconds, that’s all that was to it!”

“Bullshit!”

“Jen, please, you’re overreacting, you can’t be upset that I made some silly dance moves for less than a minute for the enjoyment of our fans. You used to like my moves…” Jared tries frightfully, lifting his head slightly to look at him, puppy dog eyes in full force, but he knows it won’t work. It hasn’t worked on Jensen in years, not when he was this angry.

Jensen gulped down another shot of whiskey, leaving the glass at the table and sitting back on the edge of the bed. “You’re right, Jared, I used to like your moves. I remember a time when I was the only one to see said moves, when you didn’t feel the need to parade your ass to the world to see.”

“I-I wasn’t parading my ass, Jesus! I can’t- I’m just… I’m just too tired right now, can we talk about this tomorrow? Please?” Jared begs, finally starting to move away from the door he was certain he was glued to by now. Unsure, he walks slowly to the table, takes Jensen’s glass and serves himself a drink, one he directly finishes. The warm feeling going down his chest manages to calm him down a notch. With his back turned to Jensen, he gulps down a second shot.

“I thought you wanted to shower,” Jensen says.

“Yeah, I’m gonna… later…”

“Later? Why? Because I’m here? You can’t take a shower while your boyfriend is in the room?”

Jared turns and looks at him, “of course I can, Jen, it’s not that… I’m just… I just want to take my ti--”

“So go now, Jared,” Jensen hisses impatiently.

“Okay, I’m going…” Jared starts walking in the direction of the bathroom, but Jensen’s voice interrupts him.

“Wait,” Jensen says, “take off your clothes.”

Jared freezes in place, “Jen… please… we can do this la--”

“ **NOW** , Jared!” Jensen’s commands harshly.

Defeated, with his back turned to him, Jared strips, and as every layer hits the floor, it leaves him more vulnerable and defenseless.

“Turn around,” Jensen says and he does it. Slowly, painfully, empty eyes staring at the generic painting hanging on the wall. He hesitates before removing his underwear, but one look at freezing green eyes and he goes for it. Standing up naked in front of Jensen, he feels completely exposed, and not in a good way. There’s nothing sexy about it, his soft cock rests around his right thigh, his arms hang alongside his body and Jared fights his instinct to cover his groin, the need to protect himself against this man that once meant everything to him.

“Come sit on my lap,” Jensen tells him, eerily calm. When his boyfriend gets like this, Jared knows best not to aggravate the man any further. At least, he should know better. Still, he tries, “Jen, please, let me take a shower first, I won’t take long. You can… we can fu--”.

“Jared, on my lap, NOW,” and Jared sees no way around it, he forces himself to walk the 11 feet separating them. He sits awkwardly on Jensen’s lap, spreading his legs as little as possible and laying his hands around his boyfriend’s neck. Instantly he feels strong hands stroking his sides, sliding down to his butt, kneading his buttcheeks. A dry finger brushes over his rim and, with his head hanging down, he flinches at the touch.

“You know what your problem is, Jared?” Jared shakes his head lightly. “Your problem is…” he feels the finger breaching his hole, dry and unforgiven, pushing his way inside his most private part, “… that you-- just-- can’t-- say-- NO,” Jensen fucks him brutally with his dry finger and Jared whimpers, as his whole body shudders. He feels the burn, the skin of his ass drags at his merciless finger, it’s just one finger, but it feels like it’s tearing him apart. Jensen licks his lips and grabs Jared’s soft cock, spitting in the head and smearing it over the length. He works his cock with dedication, expert fingers maneuvering many times explored territory, knowing exactly which movements will make Jared a whiny mess, even if it’s not exactly what the bigger man wants right now. And it isn’t, but Jensen wouldn’t know, _he_ _wouldn’t care_. 

Jared’s mind wanders off to the memories he still cherishes so much. He keeps those safe in the back of his mind, rarely lets himself remember those times where they loved and fulfilled each other so completely. Of all things, fragments of the time they just started exploring different kinks rush back to his mind, how they sometimes roleplayed rape scenarios and how, as much as he admired Jensen as an actor, he never truly believed his meticulously chosen words that complemented their fantasy. It was in those emerald eyes, the truth that could never be concealed, the deep love, respect and care he felt for Jared. Jensen couldn’t hide those feelings, even if he tried. He chuckles at the memory of Jensen pretend-raping him, how careful he was with his lover, worried eyes searching for any sign of discomfort, always attentive to his every need.

Jared closes his eyes, wanting to believe he was back with that version of his boyfriend, the one who wouldn’t dare hurt him in any way, not with his words nor with his body. He lets himself feel, feel the pain of now two dry fingers fucking his hole relentlessly, but also the arousal as Jensen cups his balls, then moves his hand tight around his length, twisting the shaft lightly and playing with his slit. He feels his cock fill with blood, and Jared can almost ignore the pain, if only Jensen wasn’t dead set on reminding him of where he stands, of what _they have become_.

“Look at you, Jay, you want it so much, don’t you? I know you do, babe, and I’m gonna give it to you… you’re gonna get what _you deserve_ ,” Jensen whispers into his ear, squeezing Jared’s cock almost to the point of pain.

“Get down on your knees, want you to blow me. Make it wet, Jay, you won’t be getting any lube tonight,” Jensen commands him, abruptly slipping his fingers out of his ass. Jared hisses, but still gets down on his knees, trembling fingers unbuttons Jensen’s pants and pull out his hard long cock. Jared takes a deep breath and dares peek through his hair for one moment, hoping he can see something other than raw lust and scorn in Jensen’s eyes. Heartbroken, he starts by lightly kissing Jensen’s balls, going slowly up until he reaches the head of his cock. He opens his mouth and licks it, tongue swirling around the shaft, right hand playing with his length, seeking out every sensitive spot.

“Yeeaah, just like that, you slut, just like that…,” Jensen moans.

Thinking that, if he can get his boyfriend to come in his mouth, Jensen might let the punishment-fucking he’s so dreading right now go, he tries all his best tactics. He opens his mouth further and swallows it completely, deepthroating him, feeling the head of his dick slam the back of his throat. It hurts and he can’t breathe, but he endures. He’s so concentrated, he barely notices Jensen’s fingers playing with his hair until they yank at it, harshly pulling Jared away from his cock.

“Nuh-uh, I know what you’re trying to do, and although I appreciate how much you love eating my come, I have other plans for tonight.”

“W-whatever you want, Jen,” Jared says, with tears in his eyes he’s not so sure are solely caused by the deepthroat.

“Lay down on your back for me,” Jensen says sharply and Jared promptly stands up, wanting more than anything to get this over with. He lays down in the middle of the bed, legs spread wide, inviting. Jensen takes off his pants and underwear and follows him. With his eyes shut, Jared feels the balance in the mattress shift and warm fingers in the back of his thighs, caressing his skin and pushing his legs all the way up to his chest. He feels hot puffs of breath on his hole, and it twitches instinctively. Jensen snorts.

“Open your eyes, Jared, want you to see me”. Jared stares at Jensen while he teases him, touching his already sore hole with the side of his face, his beard scratching it and Jared lets out a sound that is a half sob and half moan. Jensen decides this was enough foreplay and spits on Jared’s asshole, cramming two fingers inside to smear it and, not a minute later, he shoves his cock deep inside him. Jared tried to prepare himself, but he couldn’t totally suppress the scream that burst from his lungs.

“Huummm so tight, babe… Look how your hungry hole swallows all my cock, you love this, don’t you, Jay? You’re my little cockslut, aren’t you?” Jared doesn’t answer him, _can’t_ answer him. He feels the pain actually pulsing inside his ass as he grabs a pillow and bites hard on it, his eyes watering, and he tries, he really tries to force his body to relax, let it accommodate the violent intrusion, but Jensen doesn’t give him time to adapt, he groans while he pounds Jared furiously into the mattress.

“Yeah, babe, take it like the cheap whore I know you are,” Jensen smirks, pinching Jared’s nipples. He throws the pillow Jared was biting across the room and kisses him. Nowadays, their kisses are nothing like they used to be, there’s no tenderness and affection, they’re fierce, just another way to show him who’s in charge. But Jared lets him, too tired to struggle, his half hard cock showing interest only when Jensen bothers to hit his prostate. Lately, he misses it most of the time. Jared can feel Jensen slamming inside him, strong hands gripping his hips, bruising his soft skin. Jared’s fingers dig into the bedspread desperately, clutching at it like his life depends on it. He turns his face back to the painting on the wall and wonders if there’s a market specialized in ugly generic paintings made specifically for hotels. If they all buy them at the same place. If they’re all painted by the same talentless “artist”. If there’s a reason why anyone would bother to purchase such ugly paintings. If any of this matters.

What seems to matter though, is that Jensen suddenly wants him to enjoy his punishment. He kisses Jared’s collarbone, knowing full well how this drives him insane with lust. Jared doesn’t want to come, he wants to make a stand of some sort, but he’s powerless to resist when Jensen licks and bites his neck, sucking and bruising the skin, while he yanks Jared’s hair, exposing his long neck. His right hand wraps around his cock and lightly squeezes it, then proceeds to move up and down his length with the same rhythm of his thrusts. Jensen is a multitasking vampire when he wants to be, and Jared feels a wave of unwelcome pleasure ripple through him, his cock going from half hard to throbbing with need in no time.

“Look at you Jay, all hard for me. Don’t worry, babe, I know what you need,” Jensen drills his cock deep into him, lifting Jared’s legs over his shoulders and hitting his sweet spot relentlessly. “Pl-please, J-Jensen, n-need-- need to come,” Jared pleads, as Jensen jerks his cock wildly, gaining rapid speed and Jared is squirming, sobbing, begging, his hands leave the bedspread to grip Jensen’s back, the fabric of Jensen’s tee blocking any real contact between them and Jared whines, frustrated and so, so horny.

Feeling his own orgasm fast approaching, Jensen twists Jared’s shaft with more pressure, making sure to nail Jared’s prostate in every single thrust. “Come, you whore, show me how much you love my cock splitting up your ass,” Jensen whispers between kisses and bites on his neck and ear. Jared is way too gone to be mortified by how much this affects him, and his body responds to the crude words in the worst possible way. “Mmphh, fuck, shit, I’m-- I'm coming,” Jared growls, his back arches up and his dick spurts thick streaks of come all over his chest and belly.

Jensen relishes for some time in the feeling of Jared’s hole clenching down on his dick, and seconds before his orgasm hits, he slips out of Jared's ass and moves up his body. “Open up, bitch,” and Jared’s still riding out his orgasm, panting hard, his mind foggy and his body covered in sweat. His lips quiver, but he opens his mouth and stick his tongue out. He tastes the warm bitter drops of come on his tongue, but Jensen wasn’t particularly aiming at his mouth, he wanted to paint his face white with his jiz, mark and degrade him. Jared thinks his boyfriend sure accomplished it all today, feeling come all over his face, sticking to his skin and hair. He swallows the small portion that landed inside his mouth and tries to wipe his eyes of it.

“Fuck, that was good… and don’t you look pretty, laying there all fucked out…” Jensen says and sneers, his thumb smearing his come over Jared’s lips.

 

 _Season 12… maybe this should be my last season,_ Jared thinks, short before he cleans his face on the bedspread and passes out on the bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, feedback is very much appreciated.


End file.
